Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Somewhat of a BLAH day

I don't really know why I feel Blah today. It may be the cloudy weather, I don't know. I've been catching up on reading my blogs. I was a couple of days behind. All of my fellow bandsters seem to be doing so well. I'm doing okay I guess but I wish I would drop a pound or two and see a little progress. I've gained 3 pounds back (total lost 23 pounds) and I know I'm going to fluctuate but today that little voice in my head, who by the way is NOT my friend, keeps telling me that I'm not doing good enough, I'm not eating healthy enough, I'm not exercising enough.....blah, blah, blah....

I did go do aerobics last night at my parent's church. A lady there (who teaches aerobics at the YMCA) does a class there 2 nights a week for free. It was fun and the hour passed by quickly. Bekah (DD) and I picked up my mom and took her at my dad's request. I don't think I've mentioned previously that my mom has Alzheimer's Disease....she's only 65. My sisters and I have noticed in the past 5 years that she just wasn't herself. It took us two years to get our dad convinced that something was going on and finally she was diagnosed with AD. It's very sad. I often say when friends ask how Mom is doing, "I miss my mom". Yes, she's still here physically but she is nothing (mentally/intellectually) like she was before. Mom and I have always been the closest of we three girls. We talked on the phone EVERY day, usually more than once. I could tell her anything....and did. She was sweet, caring, concerned, compassionate and she always gave me great advice when I needed it. But now it's not the same. She has a distant look in her eyes, she doesn't remember short term anything, she never calls me just to check on me anymore. She doesn't remember our birthdays or wedding anniversaries. When our kids are sick, she doesn't remember to call or come by to check on them. She went with me last Friday to pick up my nephew at IU (Indiana University) which was about a 90 minute drive one way and the silence in the car was deafening! I tried to make conversation but one way conversation can only go so far. So, maybe that's why I am a little bit sad today.....I MISS MY MOM!

Okay, sorry for such the downer. Back to my aerobics story. Dad called me yesterday to see if I would take Mom to the aerobics class. He thought it would be good for her to get out of the house, do some exercise (at least move.....do something!) and to be around people. So I agreed. It was a good workout. We did 35 minutes of aerobics then did some free weights and some resistance band work followed by cool down and stretching. I told Dad I would take Mom again next week. She seemed to enjoy it though she couldn't follow the instructor that well, she did keep moving.

I am also tired today. I keep yawning and wanting to put my head down on my desk. My sleep last night was interrupted by an hour long coughing fit! I've had a cough for about a week now. It seems to be breaking up and yesterday I thought I was over it. That is until about 1AM this morning! I did not want to get out of bed this morning.

For those that are interested in the "Sisterhood of the Traveling Clothes" (Catherine has been doing this for some time), I hope to go through my closet this weekend and see what I can pass on. I will let you know and maybe post some pics. I will say though that I am not a "fashion queen" and I cannot afford high $$ clothes so don't get your hopes up for any trendy stuff.

I suppose that I have went on about nothing for long enough. If anyone has any encouraging words....I could sure use them today!

Blessings to you all and thanks for checking up on me,


  1. Sarah,

    I am so sorry to read about your Mom. I know how hard that can be. I lost my Mom to lung cancer when I was 28. I miss her so much to this day. Hold onto all those good memories you have and the few lucid moments that she may have.

  2. I love the "Sister hood of the traveling clothes!" What a great idea.

    Keep smiling. . . the sun is out today and that ALWAYS helps!

  3. Just found your blog---what an inspiring story you have! I wish there was something I could say to take away the ache of not having your mom there- I'll just offer ((hugs)) instead. Hope you feel better!